Fifty Questions

Why? Because I’m at work and have nothing else to do.

These questions have no right or wrong answers.  Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

29 going on 45, yo. I’m much older inside my head than I appear.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying.  The measure of success isn’t how many times you’ve fallen, it’s how many times you’ve gotten back up.  And sometimes the most fun experiences can come from failures. 

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Ha. Because it’s much easier to sit around and talk about the things that we want to do than to actually get up and take a risk. And self-sabotage.  That’s a biggie.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Maybe.  But I try really hard to not be that person. 

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Cliché answer – create world peace.  Real Answer – teach tolerance and respect to the world.  And not the “as long as they believe what I believe” kind of tolerance.  Real tolerance. Real respect.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Animals.  I love them.  Animals make the world a better place without realizing it or expecting anything in return for it.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I can actually say yes to this.  I really enjoy my job.  Most days. 

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I don’t know that I would live it a whole lot differently.  I think society would be  completely different though with a whole different set of expectations.  I doubt we would spend half of our lives in school.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I like to think I have taken a very active role in my life.  I’m not one of those people that can let everyone around them control their decisions. I may have made a lot of questionable choices, but I’ve made each one of them myself.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right thing?

Doing the right thing.  As long as your heart is in the right place, even if the action doesn’t work out quite right, then you can always stand behind your actions.  And I’m a firm believer that rarely is there one cookie-cutter way to do things.  Think outside the box.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

I would back up my friend and point out his/her good points that may not have been noticed by my lunch dates.  You don’t talk about people behind their back.  Not ok.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Love with all your heart. Always. It will hurt like hell sometimes but do it anyway.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Depends on the law.  Speeding – yes.  Murder – no. 

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

probably not.  But I’ve seen a lot of insanity.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Love.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because everyone is unique?  That seems like a trick question.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? 

I don’t know that I have an answer to this question. 

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

No.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Moving to South Korea eight months ago I think answers that question sufficiently.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I used to. Except SoKo elevators actually have the option to deselect a floor so if I hit the button multiple times then it won’t stop on my floor.  That would be counterproductive.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Somewhere in the middle would be preferred.  There is a little something to the whole “ignorance is bliss” thing though.  You can’t miss or worry about something that you don’t know.

Why are you, you?

That’s an exceptionally complicated question.  I’ve always made my own decisions and formed my own path. I don’t take direction well. All of my failures, belly-flops, and minor achievements have come together to create the person that I have become.  

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I hope so.  Probably not all the time, but I try very hard to be.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

A friend who moves far away.  The other is within your control.  It’s far more easily repaired.

What are you most grateful for?

My wiener dog.   I know it’s ridiculous but that animal has saved me over, and over, and over again.  He is my love. And the longest and most successful relationship (7 wonderful years) that I’ve ever had.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

What would be the point of living if you couldn’t make new memories?

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

I challenge everything.  Seriously everything, like a 5 year old.  I’ve lightened up over the past few years though.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

What’s my greatest fear?

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

Vividly.  And yes. Those are the moments that a lifetime of lessons are formed from.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

My sisters made a scavenger hunt for me after my First Communion. At the end of the hunt was a stuffed dog that I named “Doogie”.  (I was a creative child.) I kept that dog up until 8 1/2 months ago and I am still a little upset at myself for finally getting rid of him.  I should have kept him.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Pass.

If not now, then when?

Soon.  Very, very soon.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

time. money.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Absolutely. 

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because religions don’t teach tolerance and respect.  They teach that if someone else doesn’t believe what you believe then they must wrong.  And that’s not right.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

No.  There’s a lot of gray in that spectrum.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

YES.  But I’m in unique circumstances at the moment.  On many levels.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work.  I get bored with my job here because I have so little to do. I like to work. I don’t like to hold my desk down for three hours everyday. (Or do unnecessary blog surveys when I could be doing something productive.)

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Definitely not in Korea.  Everyday brings on new quirks.  It’s rarely dull.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Slightly over one year ago.  I knew nothing about Korea, living abroad, or traveling with animals, but darn it, I was going to move here.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

It would take longer than that for me to fly home.  I’d go sit peacefully in the mountains by myself I think. I don’t have much option being so far away.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

I think that’s a terrible question.  Anyone who answers yes to that needs to rethink their priorities in life.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Everything.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Your heart will tell you, you just have to know how to listen to it.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Mistakes and I are BFFs.  I’m not sure that I’m qualified to answer that question.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I do whatever I want now, I’m sincerely not concerned about other people’s judgments.  That’s not completely true.  I might shower less.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

yoga.

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I hope that I am very good at expressing my feelings towards those that I love in my life. 

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

Doubtful.  I don’t remember it now.

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I make them for myself. Always.