Friday, January 14, 2011

My Astrological Universe Just Did A Belly Flop

I’m one of those people that completely believes in astrology. Well, almost completely.  I don’t believe in the horoscopes so much but the personality traits that accompany each sign are almost always spot on.  I have always been the loyal, emotional and nurturing, though very unforgiving Cancer that the zodiac says I should be. Even before I knew the zodiac said that. Being a Cancer has always been a lot of how I identify myself. I also have a long running track record to prove that I have a love affair for Leo men. While our compatibility isn’t exactly written in the stars, my profound (and often times detrimental) love for that specific personality type is written in stone. It’s hard for anyone to argue with me the inexactness of the zodiac when I have a lifetime of experience proving otherwise.  I’m a believer.

During my last (and coincidentally first) trip to the Orlando Science Center they had an astrology exhibit that completely messed me up. They said the Babylonians completely left out a thirteenth sign, Ophiuchus.  It’s described as the lost sign of the zodiac and that it was semi-intentionally left out because they preferred the idea of 12 constellations at an exact 30 degrees each. Taking into account the rotation and tilt of our lovely planet and astrological geography (and geometry), basic mathematics probably could have proved that concept wrong a couple of millennia ago. 

Here’s my problem… It completely changed the corresponding dates for the other 12!  Apparently I am not a Cancer anymore. I am a Gemini. And those Leo men?  They now have my coveted spot as a Cancer!  How could my sign just turn on me like that?  It was once said to me (by a Leo) that a Cancer is just a “Leo that can’t handle the pressure”. With that logic, I can completely understand a Leo to Cancer transition but now all of my ex’s fit neatly into this category that I have always identified myself with. Except that now I’ve been kicked out of the club! The very idea of that is frightening and awful and…not ok!

When I first heard of this it came as terrible news to me and my 29 years of identifying with the Crab so I did what any normal person would do. I ignored it. I walked out of that amphitheater and never thought of it again.

Until today.  The new zodiac is all over Facebook so apparently it’s getting better press these days.  Ugh.  Here’s the new breakdown in case you haven’t seen it yet.

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11– April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

I’ve spent my morning researching my “potential new sign” as I’m not willing to let go of my dear Crab just quite yet.  This is what I’ve found…

The sign of Gemini is thought to be very adaptable and flexible, sometimes to the point of "being" two different personalities.

The person born under this sign may even give Leo a run for his money in the egotistical department.

A Gemini will more than make up for any negative qualities through the sheer scintillating entertainment value of their very presence.

Check. Check. and CHECK. (I promise I didn’t make that last one up even though it sounds exactly like something I would say.) So I wonder… I have always been loyal to, and incredibly proud of my Cancer sign, but maybe I am a Gemini after all?  Is it wrong to so easily merge from one sign to another?  I think I’m having an identity crisis.


  1. What?! I had no idea. I am now a Virgo!

  2. I saw this on Facebook earlier too. But the Washington Post actually ran a story "don't switch horoscopes yet..."

    They've updated the article twice. Check it out.

  3. I found out today that I am a Ophiuchus now. I am eagerly awaiting to find out more about it to see if it fits. I have always been a Sagittarian to the tee, so it will be interesting to see if I fit this other sign!

  4. I read something earlier that said Ophiuchus is actually a pretty cool sign to have. I can't remember the specifics, but I remember is sounding pretty fabulous.

    And Matt, I read that site, thanks. I understand the difference between the two forms of astrology, I'm just not sure how the western way makes any sense.

  5. I am unwilling to give up my identification as a Taurus. Stubborn, big fan of sensuality (in the form of good food, drinks, and comfort), slow to anger but furious when upset. Im pretty ,much a Taurus. Screw this Aries stuff. I call BS.

  6. OMG! I'm not a Pisces anymore, I'm an Aquarius?? Um, I don't think so. I read my yahoo horoscope every day (with a grain of salt), and all this talk about changes in the zodiac is mind boggling...I am way more of a Pisces than Aquarius (even though I'm an accountant and apparently should be an artist), so I'm not sure I buy it. It's interesting though! I read that if you are born within a week of the beginning of your zodiac (aka the cusp), you could possess some of the traits of the zodiac right before yours. Food for thought.

  7. I'm just much too much an Aries to change now. I was always cusp Pisces, with a Pisces moon, so I have my sensitive, dreamy qualities, but I'm very much a pioneering brat. There's just no way my actions bely a Pisces moon/cusp AND SUN.

    Also, this is the dawning of the age of ophiuchus just isn't as good as the original song. I'm being curmudgeonly and boycotting this entire thing. :P

  8. I 'was' a Gemini and now I'm a Taurus! My sister is a (was?) Taurus! I am 100%, make that 200% Gemini, and always will be. Maybe I'll re-examine the signs in a few months. But I'm like you - I 100% fully identify with my 'old' sign.

  9. Still a Pisces. Still fits.


    Pretty much sums me up.